“The Trick Is To Keep Breathing”

asd, autism

You may have noticed from my previous blog posts that I’m a really honest person.

Maybe a little too honest sometimes.

I’ve always been super honest.

I actually find it virtually impossible to lie.

I’ll presume this is a trait of autism but I’m not actually sure.

It has gotten me into a lot of trouble before but I do consider it to be one of my greatest strengths.

Afterall, honesty might hurt but it’s better to know the truth sooner than live a lie for longer.

I am equally able to take in honesty from other people as well.

Even if it hurts sometimes.

Because, again, it might hurt but it’s better I know the truth sooner than to live a lie for longer.

Personal growth and all that.

Along with honesty, I also get very frustrated and agitated by things that shock my sensory processing.

I have always been this way and it has often confused my family, myself and anybody else around me.

Example: if someone bumps into me, I get a rush of agitation because it physically hurts and is unexpected.

I don’t like unexpected things to happen.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading (thank you, Girl with the Curly Hair!) and have been wondering if I should seek out Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for this.

I presume this therapy would help me learn how to handle that initial reaction of frustration/agitation better.

It’s pretty scary though. I mean…I don’t know. I haven’t actually spoken to a professional about my diagnosis since I received my assessment.

I think I’m afraid they’ll judge me or they’ll start to unpick all of these behaviors that I have thought were just part of who I am for all this time only to realize they’ve been characteristics of something else and if I change those I’ll change who I am as a person.

Run-on sentences FTW.

But I guess they’ll really only teach me tactics to live more happily in a “neurotypical” environment.

Eventually I’ll probably seek out something to help me feel less alone, etc.

But right now I think I’m okay to seek out online support and finish my books.

Then I can look into CBT if I feel it’ll be worth it…I guess?

Quote of blog from one of my favorite bands of all time, Garbage.
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