Part of my (very) lengthy assessment involved analyzing my sensory profile. I scored significantly high (if you can call it that) for sensory avoiding and sensory sensitivity.
NOW I understand why I run away from social situations so much
among other things.
I’ve gotten really good at disappearing from social engagements without being seen. I consider it a pretty cool trick I’ve learned in adapting to “normal” life stuffs. This mostly happens, nowadays, at work functions where the heavy social interaction + unpredictability of logistics + trying to make small talk + high levels of distraction + large groups + lack of social buddy I can cling onto to help me with conversing = shutdown.
So I disappear. As if by magic.
I appreciate my behavior probably confuses people but can I just say how good it feels to actually be able to explain my behavior instead of coming across as misanthropic, asocial or some other frowned-upon assumption?
While getting people to fully understand how they can help me is still a challenge, I am finding that most people I share this information with are empathetic and have offered to help in one way or another.
I still have my up and down days with acceptance and figuring out how to work this all into my life so I can be the best me and have a fulfilling life experience. But little things like this feel reallyreally good.
And it helps me dust the dirt off my knees when I do falter.