You may have noticed from my previous blog posts that I’m a really honest person.
Maybe a little too honest sometimes.
I’ve always been super honest.
I actually find it virtually impossible to lie.
I’ll presume this is a trait of autism but I’m not actually sure.
It has gotten me into a lot of trouble before but I do consider it to be one of my greatest strengths.
Afterall, honesty might hurt but it’s better to know the truth sooner than live a lie for longer.
I am equally able to take in honesty from other people as well.
Even if it hurts sometimes.
Because, again, it might hurt but it’s better I know the truth sooner than to live a lie for longer.
Personal growth and all that.
Along with honesty, I also get very frustrated and agitated by things that shock my sensory processing.
I have always been this way and it has often confused my family, myself and anybody else around me.
Example: if someone bumps into me, I get a rush of agitation because it physically hurts and is unexpected.
I don’t like unexpected things to happen.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading (thank you, Girl with the Curly Hair!) and have been wondering if I should seek out Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for this.
I presume this therapy would help me learn how to handle that initial reaction of frustration/agitation better.
It’s pretty scary though. I mean…I don’t know. I haven’t actually spoken to a professional about my diagnosis since I received my assessment.
I think I’m afraid they’ll judge me or they’ll start to unpick all of these behaviors that I have thought were just part of who I am for all this time only to realize they’ve been characteristics of something else and if I change those I’ll change who I am as a person.
Run-on sentences FTW.
But I guess they’ll really only teach me tactics to live more happily in a “neurotypical” environment.
Eventually I’ll probably seek out something to help me feel less alone, etc.
But right now I think I’m okay to seek out online support and finish my books.
Then I can look into CBT if I feel it’ll be worth it…I guess?